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Flashbulb Memories

About one year ago I remember hearing about some very awful news.My grandmother had died suddenly.In my mind it was impossible that this could happen.No one who was close to me had ever died before.It was even harder to believe because my grandmother had been much more healthy than her husband.She still worked as a babysitter during the days, and that is where she died.She was taking care of a four year old child and had a stroke while sitting in a chair.The little boy just thought she fell asleep.He tried very hard to wake her up, but obviously couldn't.When the paramedics finally came they said she had died the minute it happened.
To me the strangest part of my memories of that day is the fact that I don't really remember being told.I think this may be because I didn't believe it.My grandmother had taken care of me many times in my childhood.She lived in the next town over with my grandfather for my whole life.Every holiday she would cook so much food for my entire family, that there would be leftovers (and my family is huge seeing as my last name is ——)How could this woman not be ten minutes away anymore?I just couldn't believe my parents and maybe that is why I don't remember being told.
The memory that stays with me is the memory of kneeling in front of her open coffin at the wake.I had been to one funeral a long time ago when I was very young and it had been of a relative I did not know very well, so this was myfirst actual experience in these things.That and the fact that I finally realized everyone was telling me the truth are what I think made this memory so vivid.I can picture her laying there right now.I can even feel the same feelings as I did then.All my denial and confusion were lost, and at that moment there was a huge sense of inevitability and sadness in my mind.Just thinking about looking at her face makes tears spring to my eyes.
I rememb…

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