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Bipolar Disorder

I have been diagnosed with what is called a Bipolar disorder. For all of

my life I have been moody, so I guess when my I had mood swings my parents chalked it

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up to being a teenager. I always knew that it was more than just moodiness, but I had no

idea what was wrong with me.

When I am in a manic state I feel empowered and clever. In this phase, people

find me very charismatic I also love myself and others and am very creative and

productive. I also make unwise decisions during this phase like investing in one of my

creative ideas which are not realistic.My manic phases can also jump to

irratbility and imparience with others, when I amin this stage of my manic phase all that I

can see is that everyone is an idiot, and the world is against me. This is when my

"charisma" wears off and I end up alienating people. Luckily, I have some friends and

family that stick with me no matter what I do to hurt them.

Eventually this manic stage wearsoff and I crash into a deep depression. I feel

remorse and sadness for the harm that I have caused those around me. I spend alot of my

depressed state apologizing to people for the harm I have inflicted on them. I try to clean

up my mess. I also can not sleep during this phase so I force myself to do the everyday

things such as cleaning the house, showering, as well as reading books and doing

anything I can to keep my mind occupied. If I am not busy during this time my mind fills

with ideas of my suicide. I have written my final intructions and apologies so many times

I can't evenbegin to count them. I know every method of suicide possible, its a wonder

that i am still alive.

Fortunately one of my close firends found one of my suicide notes and told my

family and close friends. They talked me into finding help I eventually checked myself
into a psychiatric facility because I did not want to go to my …

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